Helping

No one really needs help, but in helping others we become the light that we are...

~ Mark

So who is really helping who?

Presence and our parallel selves

Mark started the session by bringing us back to the core of our being.  His own presence filtered through the air like the warm rising sun, calming and settling my running thoughts.  I brought myself back to the open meadow where all is quiet and still, and just be there with myself. In the stillness, Mark said to feel the essence and the wholeness of our core being and be with it. 

From the core of our being, Mark now wanted us to experience our parallel selves.  He used an analogy of the pasta machine to describe the relationship between our core self and our parallel selves. If we thought of our core self as the dough, the parallel selves were the individual pasta strands coming out of the pasta machine, each strand was independent, yet part of the same dough.

When I went deeper, the pasta machine turned into a cave on a cliff, with multiple openings on the side. The pasta strands became stands of light in different colors extruding from the openings into the sky. Each light strand had a different color, representing a unique vibration level for each parallel self, together they formed a rainbow. Slowly the cave disappeared, the rainbow of light strands now formed a circle radiating outward like a sun disc on the horizontal plane, with each light strand extending infinitely along its own time dimension.

Mark let us experienced each parallel life, my mind played back some of the lives I've seen in regressions, then I drifted into the galaxy, I saw my parallel selves exploring simultaneously in various space time of the universe. Mark then said to bring back the experience of all parallel selves and fed them back to the core.  I saw the color of lights flowed back to the center disc, the rainbow of colors mixed, and the resulting white light flowed back to each individual strand, and they raised together vertically. Mark wanted us to feel the richness, strength, and wisdom that we gained from all of these selves, that we were never separated.

As I go deeper to feel the wholeness, each individual strands began to transform, they morphed into individual tiles that popped up in the air, slowly they came together and formed a sphere with many facets, just like a disco light with all the mirror tiles. I began to understand that each of our incarnation, each of our parallel life represent a facet of the whole. Each may seem limited, but each allowed us to explore, experience, and understand a particular facet to the fullest.  However when we became more aware, we need not be limited to the particular facet or personality anymore.  We could experience the specific while knowing the whole, and be supported and nourished by our larger self.  As I continued to understand more, the disco light turned into a big diamond, with more intricate facets and dimensions forming and expanding.  The diamond was our core self, the lights it projected out had formed the galaxy I was exploring in, and the experience from the explorations in turn created more intricate facets in the diamond. How beautiful it is that we all have a diamond in our core, in our heart.

I have always wanted to ask Mark, what he does when he is not talking to us, what his life looks like in the dimension he is in. Mark apparently answered my question in the second part of the session.  He said now imagine another pasta machine that produce the parallel selves of the guides, masters, angels, enlightened beings, etc. Imagine them overlapping with our parallel selves, each of them are sent out by their core self to guide, teach, and help us, and in the process, they evolved and expanded too. Mark also asked us to see ourselves coming out of this second pasta machine of light.  In the infinite parallel realities, there is indeed a parallel self of us that is at that vibrational level, and in reality we are the same!  We are of the same dough just a different strand.  The connection is powerful, and I felt that our consciousness had all expanded in this exercise.

雪花

下了四天雪

空氣冷冷的

雪花漫天在空中飛舞

也層層覆蓋在大地上

冷與靜

為什麼總是掛在一起呢

不過冷的時候

心就是只想

靜靜的

聽著

Meaningless

Living a meaningful life has always been what I thought I want, but knowing all things "meaningless" has a space actually completed it.

Meaning

從小我便一直在尋找意義

好像有意義是

天經地意的必須

去尋找也好

去創造也好

反正終點就是

要有意義

後來我才發現

意義是屬於頭腦的

意義只是意識聚集的

某一個方式

某一個圖案

某一個形態

所以

感覺無意義時

何不就給它一個空間

讓意識自由的來告訴我們

它的故事

它的組合

它的創意

放下有意義的必須

忽然就覺得輕鬆很多了

生命的存在

是一個比頭腦能想像的

更有趣的遊戲

黑暗

我經歷過最深的黑暗是
當我徹底否定了靈性
否定了自己存在的價值
並且在由此創造的外在的別人的否定裡
去肯定了這些否定的合理性
在黑暗的谷底
我徹底瓦解了

當我嘗試撿起散裂的碎片時
我不停的問
我能去愛一個完全沒有價值的自己嗎
然後我發現不是值得被愛

才能被愛
而是拋開所有的值得與否
單純的去愛

那一刻
我才看見了
所有的「值得與否」像一根根的刺
把心刺得傷痕累累了
於是它再也沒有了接受光的能力與容量
這些刺是雙面刃
往內刺也往外刺
刺傷自己也刺傷他人
它會讓我用相同的標準去評斷他人

那就一根一根的刺去拔掉吧
每拔掉一根刺
就是一點療癒
心對光的容量就大一些了
我也開始在從前的每一個無價值裡
看見簡單溫暖的愛與價值

真實的黑暗只是空性
讓黑暗變得扭曲而刺痛的
卻是
那一根根的刺

當心不再受傷了
才有了容納光的空間
最深的黑暗
是宇宙最深的慈悲
讓我看見了黑暗的源起
與光的容器

Destruction and new order

I attended my second Jonette's class two months ago where she channelled Mark who led us to the 9th dimension.

The exercise that week was about destruction.  Mark gave an analogy of a jig saw puzzle.  Every time we took the pieces apart, we always put them back in the same way.  He challenged us to break the puzzle apart and put them back in a brand new order.

The exercise started with sensing and feeling the attractors and stimulants that interest us.  In my mind eye, the attractors were like flight path guiding lights that spread randomly across the universe, flashing at times. I expanded and extended myself like an amoeba to reach out and touched them while feeling every sensation, probability and complexity of the universe that was out there.

Mark then asked us to multiply ourselves like fractals, and to expand even deeper and further into the universe and the multiverse.  

At the peak of it the tone changed, Mark now wanted us to bring in chaos, destruction, and demolished everything that was there.  In the flow, I felt that I was in a gigantic whirlpool, I lost my bearings, didn't know where I was.  I was broken apart, spun around, and disintegrated.  The universe was as chaotic as can be. I felt meaningless itself.

After a while the chaos gradually receded.  As the dust settled, it gave way to a calm and peaceful feeling, a new awareness emerged and a brand new order was created.  I sensed the cleanliness of the universe, like standing under a clear night sky right after the rain was over, there was freshness and clarity. I felt that the bonds between molecules and atoms were broken up in the chaos, form became formless, consciousness that was locked within the form was freed.  That was where the new awareness arose from.  In the rising, I saw the bonds between consciousness units, between atoms and molecules re-formed again, this time forming crystals that extended beyond the universe, it was truly magnificent and beautiful.  

I realized meaning is structured, but for new meaning to arise, the old structure that has shaped and contained it has to be demolished.

Mark said to bring the awareness and vibration from the higher dimension back to the lower dimension and integrate it into our daily life, but what does that mean?

In my personal truth it means breaking the usual habitual patterns of thoughts, emotions, and reactions; breaking the usual way I see people, things, and events; breaking the limitation I set for myself, and start forming the new pattern of thoughts, emotions, reactions; new ways to see people, things, and events, having new dreams, and go beyond limits to define the new meaning of life for myself.

The experience is like the shamanic tunnel, where you go through, meet your soul and see your new self.

火車

在火車上

我漸漸喜歡坐在

背著行駛方向的座位

喜歡看著窗外景物

輕輕滑過

緩緩遠去

看不見前方

但是對於走過的路

卻有了更多回顧的時間

心 也更任由生命以它的方式

帶著我前進

生活

今天在家裡工作
早上起來弄了鬆餅給孩子們當早餐
然後送Aspen上學

Wesley今天學校休假留在家裡
回家工作了一個多小時
孩子忽然喊著媽媽妳一定要下來看
滿腦子還是工作的事
但心裡想就暫停一下吧

下樓去Wesley的電腦螢幕上
準備了滿滿的圖片要讓我看
他一張一張的翻給我看
並且很有耐心的解釋
圖片中有些色彩斑斕的蛇，蜥蜴，樹蛙，烏龜，噩魚
有些是我平常看了會害怕的動物
可是這一次孩子卻讓我看見了
地球生態的美妙
他對動物的熱情與喜愛
也讓我從他的眼中看見了另一個世界
一個人與大自然更親切相處的世界
難怪昨天寵物店的阿姨
看見孩子們很高興的讓一只Corn Snake繞在手上時
很開心的說她看見了地球未來的希望
因為孩子們更懂得以愛心和動物們相處了

中午我們到外面吃了午餐
給Aspen包了便當
到學校看她的台灣之旅的Presentation
一個個小小的暫停反而是一天中最精彩的片段

沒有

在所有的想要裡

我盲了

盲是

只看見了所沒有的

所有的有不見了

〜意識的聚焦與沒有的力道

天性

當我們不再帶著傷痕的時候

其實也沒有什麼可以傷害到我們

許多傷痛其實只是舊傷痕的反應

傷痕的產生來自不理解的痛

理解了是否就可以將傷痕撫平了呢

因為痛 我們不敢無目的的愛了

所以後來我們須要了

許多的教義、教條，與規範

以讓我們的行為看似理想的自己

可是我們忘記了

曾經

赤子之心的我們

就是這樣自自然然的

愛著這個世界

和所有的人們

所以對人好是再自然不過的

不是希望得到愛

不是希望別人對我們好

只是單純的愛的流動